Just Ain't What I Used to Be

Daryl, a brilliant trumpet player and friend, wrote recently that for the first time, he felt that his playing was not improving. Daryl is in his 70s. There are several things here that I feel are important to address. It is hard to know where to start.

First of all, this observation is likely correct. Daryl has far more than 10,000 hours of practice with his music. Once you’ve reached a certain level of aptitude, it is difficult to keep getting better. And it is true that as we age, certain physical limitations come into play.

Hearing this complaint makes me think of Arthur Rubinstein and SOC. SOC stands for Selection, Optimization, and Compensation. SOC is more of an observation about aging than a theory. Rubenstein, in his 80s, claimed that he was able to maintain a high level of performance because he chose to play fewer pieces (selection), practiced those pieces more often (optimization), and played slower before fast passages to make them sound faster. Older adults use SOC all the time without thinking about it. An example in my own life would be that we have lived in a house with three stories, on 4 very hilly acres, with a large yard and gardens to maintain. To live in this house successfully for a long time, we may select to spend most of our time on one level. We have optimized our living by adding a walk-in shower, and at some point, we may move our laundry to the main floor. And we will compensate by focusing our outdoor efforts on smaller, high-profile areas, hiring someone to maintain the other spaces.

Lesson: Daryl can maintain a high level of competence with his trumpet playing by using SOC.

The second point has to do with comparison. We’ve done it all our lives—looked over someone’s shoulder to see if they were doing something better than we can. Or maybe your comparison is with your younger self. Older runners, artists, musicians, and anyone in general should not be comparing themselves to what they used to be. If you are particularly competitive about these things, you should try comparing yourself with your same-age peers. It is very likely that in your passion area, you are doing far better than other people your age.

And the third point is back to how you frame yourself with your language. Despairing about what you have lost, will inevitably lead to negative responses by your brain and your body. If you speak negatively to yourself and you quit doing the things you loved entirely, you will speed up your aging.

So the most important lesson here is to try something new. Start playing pickleball, gardening, or if you are an artist, try a completely different style. You will be really bad at it at first, but you will soon find that every day you’ll be getting better at it. I can’t think of a healthier way to stave off the feelings of loss experienced when we don’t feel like we are improving with something that we love.

Bottom line: don’t give up. There are lots of creative, wonderful days ahead.